I had a completely different post for you tonight that explained why I’ve been a bad blogger lately (nothing big, I have a lame issue I am dealing with that causes a lot of pain and I just plain don’t have energy lately)… but instead of that post, which felt long and unnatural, this one kind of was dying to spill out. This has nothing to do with anyone in particular, but society as a whole, and how scared I am for the world I brought my kids into. So, here goes:
I’ve seen it everywhere lately, and I am really, really effing pissed.
Some people say “oh, she’s just a housewife, what does she know”.
People judge a speaker on her hair, her outfit- not her words (I am guilty of this lately).
People want to pick apart a successful woman’s blessings because she worked hard to get where she is.
And most critically, people think it is ok to laugh about devaluing, debasing and dehumanizing a woman as nothing more than a sexual object. Especially troublesome are “jokes” about sexual assault.
You see it everywhere. On TV, on Facebook, in political discussions, in books… when did this kind of abuse towards women become ok? Become accepted? And dare I say it, become acceptable as a “funny” joke?
How is this the society we live in??
To those who have known me for a long time, you know I can have a downright dirty sense of humor. And I curse like a sailor if left to my own devices. I don’t love those things about myself, but I am not going to tell you I am a perfect goody-goody. Because I am not. I have a wild past full of mistakes I learned from. I know a lot of people do and I am not judging that.
What I want to know is when did it become OK to devalue women? What does it say about men who think women are objects for fodder? What heartache are we causing for little boys who adore the mothers and sisters they think the entire world of?
I look at my little man, and I know I am his favorite person on earth (shh, don’t tell his daddy). Sometimes this annoys me- because really- water does taste just as good if daddy, Grandma or someone else hands it to him- and mommy’s kisses have the same power as anyone else’s when I am trying to get dinner on the table/the bills paid/etc- but secretly, I love it. He is only two, but he is also just as fiercely protective, loyal, and loving to his little baby sister.
The day he hears someone say something like “she’s JUST a mom”, or he hears something like we’ve all heard lately about other men’s wives- other kid’s MOTHERS, other men’s little sisters- my heart will shatter. Completely.
I can’t say he won’t ever hear something bad about women- sadly, I realize the day he does will be much sooner than I’d like. I can’t say I will always be giving him the perfect example of how to treat other women with respect. But, I can get mad and fight like hell when I see people trashing women around me, and let him know when I am wrong myself.
So moms, please join me. Not just to make the world better for our daughters, but to better the world for our sons- who think the whole world revolves around us, and should never have to think differently.
Let them know it is NEVER ok to think a woman’s worth is solely through her sexuality. Let them know it is never OK to make a hurtful, disgusting joke about someone else’s mom. Let them know women work just as hard as men, and are never to be devalued, dehumanized, or vilified purely for “entertainment”.
It isn’t funny. It isn’t OK, ever. If we don’t drill it into our son’s heads, someone else will tell them a different message, a stronger message.
I don’t ever want to stop being my son’s favorite person, and I shudder to think what little boys (of all ages) who have heard the vile things people say about their moms think. Because in this day and age, they WILL hear. Things said online, in public, on TV last…. forever.
I guess it’s my new “line not to cross”. So if you do, expect a “bye-bye” on facebook, a callout on your page, a campaign against your “humor”. Our world is scary enough as is to let stuff fly that just isn’t cool, and I’ve done it for too long. But guess what, I am done. You want to turn away and ignore it? Then you are part of the problem, and that’s just as bad.
So please, someone tell me I am not just off my rocker… I just can’t tolerate how horribly women are being objectified today anymore. I just can’t go on laughing it off or saying its a joke I just don’t get- because it isn’t. It’s disgusting, it’s vile, and I am formally taking a stand against it, in honor of my son. Who is with me?